Observing Myself (again)

by - February 10, 2019

I am in tears
Because of the fears and pain I got
Sometimes it seems like I made it in my own mind
Regretting everything and imagining all the bad could be
You said I am a series addictive so I was bringing all the drama to life

But that’s me
A very nerd one and has such a bad habit to observe so many “what if” in my life
I thought you’ve knew it
Maybe you did and hoping I am not that over thinking
Or might I could change better
Despite of your pure and (very very very) positive mind and heart
You’re the main character of the drama then
There must be no body could has everything like yours, too kind!!

Too white
I don’t think so, you’re good at pretending because you always be flawlessly
So, are you this white?
Because somehow you disappointed me in many ways
Should I count it or not?
And the worst is, it is so hard to infect me to get better mind and prejudice

Maybe I have to try yoga or something to calm my mind down
I wish my job let me do meditation 7 of 9 hours office
Or maybe I need to find what’s going on with me to have such a thick wall to destroy

Will you do a little observation to help me find the reason out?

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