April Mop

by - April 06, 2017

Uhm, it is good to start to write more about what I really feel. You know, people nowadays would be so harshly being nice in front hehe..

That is not good to tell anything to them, include a joke haha, in front they may laugh out loud with us, but then it would so cruel behind. Well, I have some people whom I always related that year, cause I feel like uhm, no one besides me, so yeah it was suddenly like that. Day and day there are more people who came by and got around us. It was getting uncomfortable with. But, I did feel so comfort with two of them, I thought they were different, so yeah.

It was going well, until something happened, it was so childish I think, the way they leave me and abandoned me haha, I know I am not kind-hearted girl. But yeah still it was just something happened that they  never asking to me.

Anything getting worse, so yeah I feel like I was a stranger for them, no one talked to me, include both of people that I though they were different, so yeah, I feel like nobody’s around me once more. I admit it, getting  around with them make me feel like being alone, that I tough it is the best way to be after classes, is not good, it is better to get along with friends all night.
But yeah, that is the problem, I start to hate to meet them all, it is worse I swear, I know it is even our last year but, they just did something like I will never can forget, great!!
So yeah I start to think about this and that, and someday I decide to ask one of them to make sure what I did wrong.

Well, that is so funny instead to know the truth why they start to abandoned me, make me feel like stranger and so. I know it is my fault. Yeah as simple as it is.

I don’t know what I would do if I were one of them. Maybe I would do the same. Taking a distance as our agreement, talk less and more. I can say something like that cause I am the one who always be the beast. So yeah, I really really am so sorry for what I did in the past and really wishing they understand it.

I just explained to one of them, I told him anything, the truth, what really happened, so I think if  I ask for a mercy there would make anything worse, I know asking for a sorry is the best way, a good thing. But, not now.
I will try to understand them more, I will try to relate to them as I did simply before, I don’t know how it will go. But, I will try, it is really not me haha..
But that is friendship.

Here I will tell you that making friends would as easy as you trying a new flavor of candy that you ever eaten before. Once you chew it, and it tastes good, you will like it, but sometimes that candy would taste as well as the old one or worse. Hoping your candy always tastes as good as you always expected.

Knowing how having friends sounds so complicated but, we have to. Never deciding to live your huge life all alone. You will never ever can enjoy it by your self. You need at least a person to share about. Once you meet him or her, you will surprisingly happy and smile everyday, wondering how could a single laugh is really hard to forget when you will go to bed.

You will wondering how could a pain can be something worth to keep inside and learning how endure and recover it by yourself but, there’s always such a pain and you will think it is just ok as long as he or she is always beside. People choose someone who they think deserve to listen more about their stories and favorite songs and so do I. I remember how I always been waiting for a dandelion, it feels like I was chasing the wind blows. Until I don’t really know what made him turn around and glanced at me.

But, trust me it tasted just sweeter than my favorite candies. My mouth sometimes was bitten and bleeding, but I thought that was how we should chew a candy. But in the end this candy tasted too bitter. With my all regrets I throw it out.
The rest just tasted so sour. I was not regretting what I did. I just was thinking about how to tasted something sweeter again.

A bit I have been waiting and feeling about something once I found this cup of coffee, I know I don’t have to chew a candy to taste something sweet. The cup just hypnotized me. Perfect. I know it is so confusing to enjoy a cup of hot coffee. Uhm,  you have to drink it when it is hot, to get the best taste of it, but you will feel it was too rush and fast. In the rest you will sit with an empty beautiful cup while the rain is still falling. The second choice is to drink it bit by bit until it is not too hot to come in to your mouth but, if you want to have your coffee until the rain is stop, it will turn cold and you cannot get the best taste of it. It is like falling in love.

I was fall in love with my best friend. I know it is funny, I lost my friendship, but in other hand I am in love with one of my friends. He is just so warm, just like that coffee I wanted to drink over and over. It is not a hot coffee, just a warm one.

He is just so gentle as baby breath I think, all I have been needed.
So soft.
So soft just like a pie.
So, what am I supposed to describe him? This cutie pie just so warm and sweet and smooth~
I think it is better to have than a bunch of candies.

Well, I know it is so confusing too read this. But, I only can write what I really feel.

So, yeah, thank you so much for visiting. Hoping you have a great day. 

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